These Situations
by she-wolf vixen
Summary: A ninja-training facility in Xing is using human transmutation to gain homunculi-like qualities. It's up to Ed, disguised as a female, to infiltrate the building and find out what's going on. PARENTAL ROY/ED FIC
1. Chapter 1

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These Situations

_Chapter One_

_"Shuriken"_

_-Evee Elric/She-wolf vixen-_

Roy let out a small sigh and stretched contentedly under the torrent of water that spilled from the shower head over his hair, running down his body. It felt close to exhilarating to wash off all the sweat and grime. Central Headquarter's showers was the optimum of bathing pleasure what with the chilled marble floors and the dim but invigorating lights. Roy had never once passed up an opportunity to shower at Central.

Roy pulled his head out from under the path of the water and reached for his shampoo. To his dismay, he found he had none.

"Fuery, you have any of that almond stuff you lent me yesterday?" he called from his shower stall.

The black-haired soldier shook his head, sprinkling water everywhere. "Havoc gave the shampoo to me yesterday."

Havoc replied over the splashing of water on stone. "That wasn't mine Fuery, I borrowed it from Elric."

"FullMetal?"

Roy was slightly surprised. It never occurred to him to Edward would actually try to stay clean. Rather than spending most of his day in a building, Ed chose to romp around Amestris and stick his head into rather volatile situations. In the end, the boy finished his day tending to wounds and hoping to somehow find another outfit that wasn't sullied or ripped into useless cloth. Roy hadn't really thought of Edward as one who would enjoy cleaning himself as much as he did. As if to prove him wrong, the door to the showers opened and Edward strolled in, a towel around his hips and his automail leg making a soft clinking on the stone floor.

"Hey Edward, " Havoc greeted from his shower stall, "You're just in time. The Colonel wants to borrow some of your shampoo."

"Why can't he use his own?" Ed complained, tugging off his rubberband and letting his golden hair fall around his shoulders.

Roy looked over his stall's door and gave Ed a bored look. "I've run out recently."

Ed smirked as he undid the towel and stepped naked into a nearby stall directly opposite from Roy and next to Havoc.

"What? Were you so busy with womanizing that you forgot to go buy some shampoo?" he teased.

Roy sighed to himself. The teen never seemed to fail him when it came to on-the-spot verbal jabs. He felt a small tug to ask the boy how he created all of these snide comments on such short notice. Short height, short temper, short time. The boy made it effortless for his company to insult his height...or lack of it.

"Just give it to me Fullmetal."

Roy didn't want the smart-mouthed kid to ruin his shower.

Ed turned on his own shower, flinching slightly at the sudden cold until the water began to steam as it heated. "Hold on a sec, Mustang."

Edward picked up a manilla-colored bottle and held it upside down over his palm. He let a decent amount of shampoo pool in his human hand before turning and tossing the bottle in Roy's direction. Roy caught the shampoo bottle and watched as Ed rubbed vigorously at his long blonde-hair. The boy had a small smile on his face as he gently closed his eyes to keep the suds out of his eyes and warm water coursed down his arms following the curves of well-trained muscles. The almond scent floated lightly over Roy's nose and he heard Havoc and Fuery sigh in delight. Now that he thought of it, Roy had never showered when Edward was, this being his first time.

'His eyelashes are so long' Roy thought, 'He looks just like a girl from neck up.'

"Ahhh Ed, I love it when you take a shower." Havoc moaned.

Ed, slightly embarrassed, opened one of his eyes. "It's just the shampoo. You guys are overreacting."

Havoc laughed and began teasing the alchemist, trying to peek into Ed's shower over the small stone that separated the stalls. The boy blushed at the invasion of his privacy and began to berate Havoc. Roy just rolled his eyes in annoyance and proceeded to thoroughly scrub his hair clean. When Roy rinsed off the last of the suds off his jet-black hair and opened his eyes, Fuery was toweling off his short hair and nudging his glasses further up his wet nose.

"Where you going Fuery?" Roy asked the younger man.

"I've finished my shower sir." Fuery replied. "I promised Falman I'd be quick. He's waiting for me outside right now..."

"Hey Fuery, wait for me!"

Havoc scurried for his towel and shook his head like a dog. "I'm getting out Colonel," Havoc called as he followed Fuery into the dressing room, "See ya later Edward."

Only after the door to the men's dressing room shut with a small click that Roy realized he was alone with Ed. The teen continued with his shower, not noticing the silence that filled the air. Roy stared at the boy, watching his carefree movements. Roy's eyes slowly slipped down to Ed's gleaming automail, the metal reflecting the dim lights in the shower room.

"FullMetal..." Roy called. He tossed the almond shampoo back to Ed. The boy deftly caught it with his automail arm and set it down beside him.

Ed glanced at Roy before turning to face him. "What?"

Roy blinked. "I didn't say anything FullMetal..."

"You were staring at me." the blonde replied simply. "That means you want to ask me something."

"Huh?!" Roy blushed. How did the teen know?

Ed rolled his eyes. "Come on Mustang, it's all over that face of your's."

'Is he reading my mind?' Roy thought, slightly anxious. He wouldn't put it behind the boy. He was definitely gifted enough to succeed.

"So?" Ed stared at Roy expectantly, water still running down his shoulders and hair. "What is it?"

Roy leaned against his shower door, placing his arms on the stone. "FullMetal..."

Before Roy could speak his mind, the main door to the showers burst open with a bang. Roy glanced up in alarm before blushing and grabbing his towel.

"Riza?!"

Riza stood in the doorway, clearly undisturbed by the sight of Roy and Ed unclothed.

"Who let you in?!" Roy nearly screamed.

Riza stood at attention. "That would be Havoc, sir."

Roy made a mental note in his mind to have a personal meeting with the soldier when he next saw him. He glanced over at Ed and was surprised to see the blonde standing there, unperturbed, gazing at Hawkeye curiously. He had half-expected Ed to lose his evident mild state and explode at Riza. However, the boy merely stood there, a slight embarrassed look on his face.

"Sir." Riza interrupted Roy's thoughts.

"What could be so important that it required you to barge into the mens' shower room?" Roy spat.

"There's been a repot sir. The caller is still on the line..." Riza replied.

Roy waved a hand in Ed's direction. "FullMetal, you wouldn't mind leaving us alone for a bit."

Ed smirked and picked up his towel but Riza coughed and he froze.

"This concerns Edward as well Colonel, I wish that he hear me out."

Roy watched Ed's already large eyes widen in curiosity.

Roy sighed. "Very well Riza, but can we at least speak about this in my office."

Riza nodded and began to back out.

"Oh, Riza?" Roy stopped her.

She turned her head slightly, waiting for a reprimand.

"Who the hell is it?" he asked, annoyed. He might as well know who had the gall to report an incident at this hour.

Riza spoke softy. "ChiangYi Stallion, or by her maiden name...Reiya Mustang. Your sister sir."

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Roy set down the phone and placed his face in his hand

Edward, who was sitting on the couch next to Riza, shifted uncomfortably in the oppressing silence.

"I don't get it Mustang, what's going on?" Ed questioned. He had never seen the Colonel this disturbed. He always had that know-it-all smirk on his face.

Roy looked up at Ed, eyes tired. "My sister was investigating a certain ninja training facility in Xing. Her daughter, FeiTei, went undercover as a trainee and was supposed to return in a month. It's been a year and Reiya hasn't heard from her daughter since she left for the school. There is evidence that the training facility is using some type of dark alchemy, somewhat close to human transmutation. Apparently, they are teaching these young girls to use human transmutation on themselves to give their bodies homunculi-like qualities. This could be a problem as it could start another war, coming close to the Ishbal incidents with homunculi-like humans on Xing's side. We want to prevent any more outbreaks like this and not only that, my sister hopes for me to find out if FeiTei is still alive."

There was another suffocating silence when Roy finished his speech and Ed's heart was hammering. Homunculi qualities using human transmutation. Another war? The heavy-ness of this pressed hard on Ed's heart and longings. If this was true, there was so much that Ed could find out about human transmutation. From what Roy told him, it sounded like the human alchemy was successful. He could possibly find something that would help get Al's body back.

"What are we planning to do about this?" asked Ed, "and how does this concern me apart from having to deal with human transmutations?"

This time, Hawkeye explained. "Ed, the facility is a training school for young teenaged girls."

"So?" Ed commented. "I don't get it."

"If we want to investigate, we'll need an inside report. A spy...and our spy must have alchemic skill so as not to arouse suspicion."

Roy stood from his desk and leaned over Ed, reaching behind him. Ed blinked as the Colonel pulled his just-braided hair apart and let the strands fall around Ed's shoulders again.

"What do you think lieutenant?" Roy asked with a slight grin on his face.

Riza smiled warmly. "Well, he certainly is...charming."

Ed's eyes widened. "Wait...are you saying...you want me to...?"

Roy nodded. "Yep. Our inside spy, Edward Elric."

"Or rather, AiTan Elric, meaning love and grace in Xing." Riza laughed.

"I'm not going to be a girl!!" Ed yelled indignantly.

Roy eyed him. "You're the only one who can do it FullMetal...and besides, don't you think you can get some good information on how to get your brother's body back."

Ed stumbled. His weak point...

"Wh-when do we leave?" Ed asked weakly.

"As soon as we get packed!" Roy announced. "We'll be living in Xing for a while."

"We?" Ed asked cautiously.

Riza nodded. "The investigation crew consists of the Colonel and myself as your parents, Havoc, Fuery, and yourself."

"Get packing, FullMetal." Roy interrupted. "We leave tomorrow!"

Ed sighed and began to re-braid his hair as Riza picked up the phone to call Havoc and Fuery. Ed heard Roy's pompous voice, cheerful again, calling to Hawkeye.

"Riza, may I borrow your make-up? FullMetal needs a make-over!"

Ed sat upright.

"WHAT?!"

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**My newest Parental RoyEd fic. Like it? Hate it? Please Review to help me decide if I should continue this story.**


	2. Chapter 2

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These Situations

Chapter Two

"His Reason"

-Evee-

"Havoc, if I find any pictures of girls in your room, I'll have Lieutenant Hawkeye shoot you, and Fuery, absolutely no dogs, starving or not. These obtrusions will only keep us here longer." Roy swallowed a mouthful of ramen before continuing. "Hawykeye will be residing in the room next to us. Havoc, I want you to share with Fuery, no rough-housing. I, on the other hand, will be..."

"Hold on Mustang!" Edward Elric paused in his dinner, a full fork hovering halfway to his mouth, "There's only three rooms in this place. I know, I looked. If I have to share a room with you I swear-"

Roy shot him a glare, silencing the boy who resigned to munching quietly. Roy heaved up a forkful of noodles and shoveled into his mouth quickly before continuing, "and I will be residing in the room between Hawkeye and Havoc _with _FullMetal." He pronounced pointedly with a swallow. Ed spluttered and coughed across the table causing Hawkeye to lift her eyes in concern. Roy kept silent, having foreseen and expected this reaction beforehand.

As he watched Ed choke and cough, he took note of the job that Havoc had done on Edward's face. Back at Central, Hawkeye had never before worn make-up. She possessed it merely as a courtesy to a friend who had given her cosmetics as a gift, therefore, it was most accurate to say that the Lieutenant knew absolutely nothing about feminine products. Roy had turned to Havoc for assistance seeing as the man claimed he knew nearly everything there was to be known about women, except for how to actually keep one in his company. Nevertheless, Havoc had done a decent job. Edward now wore a shade of light blue on his eyelids and eyeliner around his large eyes, his heavy eyelashes further darkened to a point where they seemed to cast shadows on his cheeks. The normally pale cheeks were now colored with a light flushed color and the long blond hair was let down to frame Ed's face. It also proved as a good way to disguise Ed's broad shoulders. Roy took his eyes off Ed as he realized the boy was glaring at him and had opened his mouth to speak.

"No way. Not a chance."

Roy blinked. "What?"

Ed scowled. "Don't play dumb. There is no way that I'm staying with _you_." Roy noticed the boy's emphasis on the word 'you'.

"I don't exactly enjoy it either FullMetal." Roy narrowed his eyes at the surly teen. "Havoc and Fuery won't stand a chance keeping you in check and you can't very well sleep in the same room as Hawkeye."

"It's not my fault Alphonse couldn't come along." Ed snapped angrily forcing his own fork-full of noodles into his mouth. "Jerk." he added as an afterthought as he chewed. Roy tried to ignore this statement.

He quickly shot back with a reply. "Ed, you of all people, should understand how majorly suspicious that would be. Don't jeopardize the mission with stupid comments like that. There is a divider in the room we can use." The boy was irritating him. They had discussed this several times in Central, Ed continually unwilling to leave Al behind. It had been the younger and more rational brother who convinced Ed that it would be better if he were to stay in Central. So with a heartfelt goodbye, Alphonse headed back to Resembool to give Winry company for the duration of the mission. However willing the younger brother was, it didn't seem to sooth Ed's continuing resentment towards him. Even as they had driven towards the train station, Roy could sense the boy's piercing glare on the back of his neck. It bothered him. The obvious defiance that the teen displayed to his superior. One day, Ed would be in a lot of trouble due to his arrogant resistance.

In any case, it was almost amusing to watch Ed's fluctuations between adolescent misbehavior and childish curiosity. Almost immediately after the group had arrived at the Xingese home, Edward headed off to explore the general area, as he had made clear. It was not altogether a bad place to live. The floors were neatly placed with a type of wood that was soft and smooth to walk on. The rooms were made of more wood-like material which were illuminated by soft light lamps. The house had a very oriental feel to it. The main room even had a huge table in which they could sit under and be warmed by the heater underneath. As a fire alchemist, Roy felt comfortably at home, except for one thing. They were on an investigation...not a relaxing trip to Xing.

The very fact that there was the threat of homunculi kept Roy every alert. Even now, he was on his cautious edge watching the shadows to catch any flicker of movement that would betray an attacker's position.

"Are you even paying attention?" Ed snapped irritably.

Roy flinched lightly and lifted his head to see his crew watching him with curious stares. Lost in thought, he hadn't heard a single thing from the moment he had begun thinking. " What?" he asked, slightly embarrassed that he had been so jumpy.

Ed slammed his bowl down on the table angrily. "See? You weren't paying any attention at all. At least I have the courtesy to listen to your stupid lectures. Then again, you don't care about anyone but yourself so I wouldn't expect you to listen to anything I might have to say!" Furious, the teen heaved himself up and made his way to the next room. Within seconds, a loud slam was heard and then silence.

Roy put a hand on the table, ready to pursue the boy, but felt a heavy hand pull down on his shoulder. Glancing to his right, he gritted his teeth while Hawkeye mouthed a quiet 'no'. Roy breathed out heavily and sat back down and resumed eating. The table was silent and the soldiers sat quietly without any comments until Roy could bear the tension no longer. "What did he say?" Roy cast a pleading glance around the table.

"Ed has a point..." Havoc murmured quietly. "You should pay more attention to him."

Hearing Havoc side with Ed made him feel irritated and he frowned. "I don't have to baby him. I'm sure he'd rather I stay as far away from him as possible." Out of the corner of his eye, Roy saw Hawkeye frown at this and he turned to her. "You too Lieutenant?"

Riza crossed her arms on the table. "It's true sir. Maybe you should listen to what Edward has to say once in a while."

Angry now, Roy stared at Fuery. "Don't tell me you think the same thing?" The young soldier remained mute and didn't move. "So you're all on his side?!" Roy growled.

"Don't say that sir." Riza cut in, "We're not taking sides. We're merely suggesting that you listen to Edward. He makes some good points."

Roy sighed heavily and leaned back. "Forget that. I just want to know what FullMetal was saying..."

Riza nodded. "Well, he was just stating that it would probably be best if you and him explored around tomorrow to familiarize yourselves with the area. It's best to be prepared in case of enemy attacks which are most probable."

Roy was temporarily shocked. "He said that?"

"Ed may be rash and hot-headed but he's basically a child prodigy. You can't underestimate that boy's thought process sometimes." Havoc commented.

"Maybe so." Roy spoke quietly. He felt rather guilty now about the things he had said earlier.

Riza took the momentary pause to clean up the dishes. "Sir, I think it is time for us all to get some rest."

"Yeah." Roy replied. He helped Riza collect the dishes and add them to the pile next to the sink. By the time he got back to the living room, Havoc and Fuery had already departed to their collective rooms.

"Get some rest sir." Hawkeye called quietly and she too slipped into her room leaving Roy to stand in the main room.

Roy wasn't sure about the reaction he would get from Ed when he entered the room but he brought together his discomfort and stepped towards the closed door. However, when he went to open it, he found it locked. "Dammit FullMetal." he cursed, jiggling the side. Suddenly, there was a small sound and Roy froze, a cold chill spreading through him. He waited for a bit, his hand in his pocket. He quietly slipped on his flame glove and waited until he heard it again. This time, the sound was more human and he relaxed. It was coming from inside Ed's room.

"Al.."

Roy's eyes widened as he heard the voice. Waggling the side of the locked door more violently, he somehow managed to open the lock and he peeked in cautiously.

"Allll..." came a pitiful whine. "Allll?!"

Roy sneaked quickly to the bedside where he looked down to see Edward thrashing violently among the blankets. Roy grabbed the bundle but the boy only spasmed even more violently and Ed's automail hand caught Roy's cheek painfully. "Ow." Ignoring the pain, Roy took both of Ed's hands in his own and pinned the boy down firmly. The boy's human hand was slippery from sweat and Roy couldn't get a firm hold on Ed.

"Aggggh, Alll help me!"

"FullMetal!" Roy barked quietly. "Get a hold of yourself!" Practically whimpering now, Ed wiggled desperately, all the while pleading for his brother. "Edward Elric!" With one last attempt to wake up the struggling teen, Roy bashed his head hard against Ed's.

"O-ow!" The blond sat upright and clasped a hand to his forehead, still entwined in his blankets. "Mustang?"

Roy stepped back and stared at the boy and the teen stared back, dazed. Roy never would have thought that he would see Ed in such a weak state. It almost scared him. What was wrong with the boy? If he recalled correctly, Ed was calling him brother's name like a small child. Was this the result of being away from his brother? No, they've been separated for some time before. There was no reason for Ed to spontaneously cry out for Al. Unless there really was a reason. Ed turned away from Roy's gaze, breathing heavily. "Sorry. Go back to slee-"

Without warning, Roy grabbed Edward's arm. "H-hey!" Ed stammered, "Let me go! Mustang, what are you doing?"

"Come with me FullMetal...just for a moment." Roy spoke quietly. He was astonished that the ever vigilant Hawkeye hadn't woken up yet from the commotion. Roy allowed Ed to pull his sweaty arm from his grasp and without looking to see if Ed was following, turned and headed to the kitchen. As he thought, Edward followed him like a curious kitten.

"What are you doing?" Ed asked softly when they arrived there.

Roy didn't speak and reached up to a cupboard and rifled through the cups there. All he could find was teacups and his own personal coffee mug so he pulled out a vanilla-colored cup and proceeded to check the nearby fridge. He could feel Ed's eyes on his back and he pointedly refused to talk to keep the boy interested. He picked out several items and kept them hidden with him. Quickly pouring liquid, Roy pulled out his flame glove. In an instant, he heated the contents of the cup. Edward shifted uncomfortably in his spot until Roy turned to him a few seconds later with a cup full of steaming brown liquid.

"Drink." Roy shoved the cup into Ed's hand and the boy unconsciously took it. Roy watched the boy stare at the cup in his hands. "Drink it, FullMetal. I didn't poison it."

"Even if you didn't try to poison it, you might have done it anyway with your lack of cooking skills." Ed commented cheekily before raising the drink to his lips. Roy was about to retort when it struck him. Ed was back to normal again. "What is this though?" Ed wondered to him.

Roy chuckled. It was time to turn the tables on the smart-mouthed kid. "Why? Did I really poison you?"

"No. It's...alright." Ed shrugged.

Roy raised an eyebrow. "Really? Even something made by someone like me?"

Ed shrugged and took another sip. "What is it?"

Roy chuckled. "It's milk..."

Without a pause, Ed began to cough and hit a fist against his chest. Roy snickered quietly and Ed's reaction and waited until the boy stopped chocking. "You-you!" Ed spluttered indignantly. Roy laughed and Ed sighed, staring at the half-cup of milk that was still left.

"Ok, I lied a bit," Roy smiled. "It's warmed milk with chocolate powder."

"What difference does it make?" Ed wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "It's still milk."

Roy leaned back against the kitchen counter and shrugged. "You thought it tastes good." Ed was silent and Roy couldn't think of anything to say. After a few moments, Ed lifted the cup back to his mouth and drained the cup in front of an astonished Colonel. Ed set the cup down in the sink and turned away from Roy, not moving.

"What happened to your face?"

Roy blinked and then remembered. He reached up to touch the welt on his cheek. "Right. That was you."

"Oh." Ed replied.

"I'm going to go to sleep." Roy told the teen. "You should too. We'll need to get up early tomorrow if we're going to check out the area." As Roy passed the boy, he swore he saw a fleeting smile. Roy stepped into the room and as he closed the divider, he heard a single line pass the lips of the stubborn adolescent.

"You're not such a bad person when you're not being a Colonel."

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**Alright thanks all, don't forget to review. **

**The next chapter will be placed as soon as possible. crosses fingers**


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